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Time for Some Mitch Hedberg (what a tragic loss)

15 Jan

Mitch Hedberg was an amazing stand-up comic  who died from a drug overdose.  Here are some of my favorite jokes from Mitch:

“I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.”
“I like rice.  Rice is great if you’re hungry and want 2000 of something.”
“I like to play blackjack.  I’m not addicted to gambling.  I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.”
“I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’mscreen-shot-2016-12-23-at-6-55-36-am gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.”
“I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.”
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.”
“I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”
“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.”

 
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Posted by on January 15, 2017 in Mitch Hedberg

 

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