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Something for Introverts — More Satire from the Babylon Bee!

20 Jan


NEWARK, NJ—As the escape room craze continues to sweep the nation, one new escape room promises to be the tensest, most terrifying experience of them all: Escape Room: Church Greeting Time.

Held in a former megachurch, the new escape room will offer challenging riddles, exciting thrills, and the constant terror of knowing someone is about to try to hug you and shake your hand.

People who sign up for the horror-packed experience will be locked in a room with extroverted church members. They will have 60 minutes to discover clues, locate keys, and solve puzzles to exit the room, all while being pestered by friendly churchgoers asking how their week went.

At the escape room’s grand opening, hundreds of terrified participants ran screaming the moment they were locked into the room, bashing through walls and burrowing through the floor to escape rather than attempting to solve the escape room’s myriad challenges.

So far, no one has actually solved the escape room.

“We find it’s much too terrifying for people to be able to concentrate on locating the code to get out,” said the escape room’s designer. “They would much rather leap through a window or army-crawl through a ventilation shaft to get away from the chipper church members trying to make small talk.”

The entrepreneurs behind Escape Room: Church Greeting Time are reportedly planning an even more terrifying experience for next year: Escape Room: Charismatic Church Service.

Editor’s note: As a card-carrying introvert, this one terrifies me!

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2020 in introvert

 

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