Babylon Bee Satire: The Entire Bible Is God’s Word!

19 Apr

MODESTO, CA—Tom Barber read through his Bible and highlighted passages as he went along, as many do, but unlike most people, he ended up highlighting every single passage in his Bible.

“I was going through and deciding what passages were worth emphasizing,” explained Barber, “but then I thought about how this is all the inspired Word of God. Am I supposed to say of some of God’s Word, ‘Eh. That’s just not worth remembering’? So I highlighted all of it, because it’s all great.”

Greg Hawkins, a theologian, said this was ridiculous. “Even God would admit that most of the Bible is just filler verses,” he said. “Especially the Old Testament. I mean, a lot of that just never gets quoted and will never in a million years end up on an inspirational poster with a picture of a sunset in the background.” Hawkins explained that the proper way to read the Bible is to pick out the “good stuff,” highlight that, and only ever read the rest when doing an in-depth Bible study on that particular chapter.

Barber, though, disagreed. “When I open my Bible, I can clearly see the important parts as I highlighted it — and it’s all of it. If you ask me what my favorite Bible verse is, it’s a 31,102-way tie.”

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Posted by on April 19, 2020 in Bible


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