Fake Christians! Satire from the Babylon Bee!

U.S.—A new study is worrying pastors and other evangelical leaders, as it suggests that fewer and fewer people are pretending to be Christians than ever before.

While in years past, the vast majority of the country pretended to be Christian, that number is shrinking every year, and now only a minority of the country fakes faith in Jesus Christ.

“This is extremely troubling,” said evangelical megachurch pastor Jack Lindsey. “A decade ago, our pews were full of people who went through the motions of pretending to be Christian. But now, the fake believers are all acting like the atheists they are, and our churches are shrinking because of it. If only we could have a fake revival.”

Pastors are trying to come up with ways to combat the decline of fake Christianity, from hosting big carnivals and preaching through movie franchises to serving better coffee and naming their churches after shopping malls and retirement communities. But nothing seems to be working so far, stoking fears that fake Christianity is on its way out permanently. Some have considered preaching the gospel to the unreached, but these people are obviously nuts.

“We’re in a brave new world where people don’t even bother paying lip service to a Jesus they don’t believe in, and I’m not sure I want to live in that kind of country,” said Lindsey.

 

Insight from a Blind Man (A Study of John 9) Part 25

Jesus goes directly to the most vital question: “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”  Before he can believe, he needs to be informed.  “Who is he, sir?  Tell me so that I may believe in him.”

For reasons I don’t quite understand, Jesus responds to his question in the 3rd person (“he”):  “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.”

I think there was the hint of a smile, a twinkle in His eye, when He said “you have now seen him.”  How in the world liberal “scholars” can say that Jesus never claimed to be the promised Messiah is beyond me!

The man’s response?  “Then the man said, ‘Lord, I believe,’ and he worshiped him.”  BELIEF followed by WORSHIP.  This man’s thinking about Jesus has progressed from —

THE MAN THEY CALL JESUS >>>> HE IS A PROPHET >>> I DON’T KNOW IF HE IS A SINNER >>> I WANT TO BECOME HIS DISCIPLE >>>>  A GODLY PERSON FROM GOD >>>> THE SON OF MAN WORTHY OF MY FAITH AND WORSHIP!

To recap:  Jesus performs an incredible miracle for someone who knew next to nothing about Him.  Jesus seeks the man out after he has been excommunicated by the religious leaders and questions him about BELIEF.  Specifically, belief in the “Son of Man.”  The man born blind believes and worships.  An obvious example to all who read this story.  Do we allow for process when we are sharing “the Son of Man” with others? (to be continued)

 

Is Nelson Mandela in Heaven?

This may seem like a very strange question to ask about a world leader.  But Nelson Mandela has passed from this earthly scene.  For some, the question is, “Is there even a heaven to be entered?”  Many in our world hold to a strictly materialistic view of human life and say that when you’re dead, you’re dead.

The anthropologist Richard Leakey said, “What happens to you after you die?  I don’t think anything need happen to you after you die!”

For those who believe that there is life after this life, the question is “On what basis do you hold that belief?”  Is it because one wishes such to be true?  Or is there authoritative, reliable information available about the after-life?

Christianity teaches that Jesus is the Savior who died for our sins and rose from the dead — and promises eternal life to all those who trust in Him.  These claims are either true or false.

Has Mr. Mandela ever declared himself one way or the other on the issue of belief in Jesus Christ?  In The Raw Story’s article “Atheists and Christians lay claim to Nelson Mandela — but which was he?“, both atheists and Christians have staked claim to this great leader’s worldview allegiance.

The most important question is not the great things he has done for South Africa and the world in his self-sacrificing service.

Our question is:  Is Nelson Mandela in heaven?  We can only determine the answer to that question by asking, “What did he do with Jesus?  Did he put his faith in Him and trust Him to forgive his sins?”

Some websites discuss Mandela’s Methodist history and answer, “Yes, he was a believer in Jesus.”  Others sites criticize him for his lack of a clear witness as to his faith in Jesus.

The truth is — only God knows whether Nelson Mandela is in heaven.  We are grateful for the many deeds he did on earth, but what did he do with Jesus Christ?  That is the question.

 

Hmmmph! How’s YOUR day going?

Seth Castell http://littlefriendsphoto.blogspot.com/#sthash.MKMa4XSZ.dpuf

This guy doesn’t seem all that excited about posing for underwater pictures, does he?  He may actually be as happy as a lark, but his face seems to be saying, “Hmmph!  This is pretty lame, don’t you think?”

I think I was born an optimist.  I tell people that it’s not my spirituality that makes me generally joyful and enthusiastic.  I think it’s just my personality.  I’d probably be a very joyful and enthusiastic Mormon or Jehovah’s Witness or . . .

This raises a very important question, doesn’t it?  The Bible says, “The JOY OF THE LORD is my strength!”  That statement is really from Nehemiah 8:10 which says, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

That exact expression — “the joy of the Lord is my strength” — is only used here in Nehemiah 8.

How is the joy of the Lord our strength?  If we look to circumstances for our joy, we will be weakened by the things that happen to us over which we have no control.  If we look to ourselves and our abilities, we will be discouraged at our own foibles and mistakes and misdirected passions.  If we look to other people, we will sometimes be surprised by the joy they bring to us.  But they are not the Lord!

The real question, I think, is how can the Lord’s importance in my life become more vital, more relevant, more the source of my daily strength?  It begins, of course, with a saving relationship with Him, an experience the Bible calls conversion.  If I have been truly converted to Jesus Christ, there now exists the potential for me to develop a relationship of joy with Him that this poor world can’t match.  If you’ve got the Lord, you’ve got the source of joy. [to be continued]

Questions:

1.  Study the tern “convert” or “conversion” in the Bible.  How has our culture minimized the concept of being converted?

2.  What would be one example of the joy of the Lord in your life?

 

NEED TO BE RESCUED?

When I was in college, I took a life-saving course with about 25 other students.   The Bible college I attended had a swimming pool in the basement and the young man who taught the course was mean as a snake who apparently didn’t want to teach us how to rescue drowning swimmers.

I remember his telling us one night to come wearing a pair of pants over our swim suit because he was going to teach us how to use our pants as a flotation device.  He had us jump into the deep end of the pool, pull our pants off, blow them up, and then use them as a kind of buoy.  My only problem was that night I wore a pair of tight, bell-bottom jeans, and I couldn’t get mine past my ankles.  I began to drown — in life-saving class!  No one noticed my predicament.  I saved my own life by doggie-paddling to the side of the pool.

The instructor taught us how to rescue someone drowning when we had nothing to reach out to him with, or no rescue buoy to throw to him, but had to swim out to the drowning person and physically rescue them.  He explained that a drowning person will climb on our heads and drown both of us.  So he taught us to dive down when we  got within 8 feet of the victim, grab them by their hips, spin them around, and come up holding them in a head lock.  If they struggled or panicked and tried to climb on top of us, we should take them the very place they did not want to go — under water — so they would give up and let us rescue them.

After the month’s worth of grouchy classes, our instructor said, “Your final exam will be next week and it will be simple.  I will jump in the deep end, pretend to be a drowning victim, and your job will be to rescue me.  I WILL TRY TO KILL YOU!”

Each of us rescued the instructor.  Each of us took the instructor to the bottom of the pool –whether he struggled or not.  It was a glorious ending to a grueling course.

Questions:

1.  Do you think of your conversion in terms of being rescued?  Why or why not?

2.  How might we help others to become desperate to be spiritually rescued?

 

CALLING ALL (former) ATHEISTS!

 

CALLING ALL (former) ATHEISTS!

 

CALLING ALL (former) ATHEISTS!

 

CALLING ALL (former) ATHEISTS!