RSS

Category Archives: exercise

Babylon Bee Satire on Diet and Exercise!


U.S.—An exciting new exercise bike, sold under the brand “Christ Fit,” will force the rider to watch Christian movies until he or she hits a chosen fitness goal for a given exercise session, sources confirmed Thursday.

Once the user hits a pre-selected goal of riding minutes, distance traveled, or burned calories, the exercise bike will turn off the Christian film and allow the user to change the programming to a different movie or TV program.

“We were looking for something to really motivate people to get moving,” a Christ Fit representative said. “We tried playing Newsboys songs, gospel quartet sing-a-longs, and even some Rob Bell sermons. But nothing seemed to motivate those working out like forcing them to watch a corny Christian film made on a shoestring budget until they’d biked their hearts out.”

Early tests indicated that unmotivated exercisers would pedal three to four times harder when subjected to a film like Fireproof, Saving Christmas, or God’s Not Dead, with the promise of sweet release from the movie’s death-grip motivating an unprecedented level of exertion.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 6, 2019 in exercise

 

Tags: , ,

Image

Exercise Program? (Time for a Great Cartoon)

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 21, 2018 in exercise

 

Tags: , ,

Getting into Shape!

“I really need to get into shape. Today I realized that if I got murdered, my chalk outline would be a circle!”

 
3 Comments

Posted by on February 24, 2018 in exercise

 

Tags: ,

Image

Time for a Great Joke: Exercise?

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 9, 2017 in exercise

 

Tags: ,