Some New Year’s Resolutions

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

My New Year’s resolution is 1080p.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.

I have only one resolution: to rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!

I’ll remember 2014 like it was yesterday.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.

I wanna kiss you on December 31st from 11:59 pm to 12:01 am, so I can have an amazing ending to 2014 and a beautiful beginning into 2015.

Every year I make a resolution to change myself — this year I’m making a resolution to be myself!

My New Year’s resolution is to break my New Year’s Resolutions — that way I succeed at something!

New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.

My 2015 resolution is for everyone else to gain the 50 pounds I refuse to lose.

Tonight the mayor is dropping the ball in New York while Congress is dropping the ball in Washington.