RSS

Time for a Pretty Good Joke: “At the Message, Leave a Beep!”

My brother-in-law was puzzled by the odd messages Screen Shot 2016-08-04 at 5.52.48 AMleft on his answering machine. Day after day, friends and family would talk and then say, “Beep.” He discovered the reason for the joke when he decided to listen to his greeting.

“Hi,” it said. “I’m not in right now, so please leave a beep after the message.”

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 29, 2016 in phone messages

 

Tags: , ,

Psalms of the Salter: Some Thoughts on Really Living for the Lord (Psalm 25)

Psalm 25

Of David.Screen Shot 2016-08-01 at 5.36.59 AM

In you, Lord my God,
    I put my trust.

I trust in you;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one who hopes in you
    will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
    who are treacherous without cause.

Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.
Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long.
Remember, Lord, your great mercy and love,
    for they are from of old.
Do not remember the sins of my youth
    and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
    for you, Lord, are good.

Good and upright is the Lord;
    therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
He guides the humble in what is right
    and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful
    toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, Lord,
    forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

12 Who, then, are those who fear the Lord?
    He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.[b]
13 They will spend their days in prosperity,
    and their descendants will inherit the land.
14 The Lord confides in those who fear him;
    he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the Lord,
    for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart
    and free me from my anguish.
18 Look on my affliction and my distress
    and take away all my sins.
19 See how numerous are my enemies
    and how fiercely they hate me!

20 Guard my life and rescue me;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
    because my hope, Lord,[c] is in you.

22 Deliver Israel, O God,
    from all their troubles!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 28, 2016 in Psalm 25

 

Tags: , , , , ,

NONE OF THE ABOVE! (Some comments on our Presidential Election)

Screen Shot 2016-07-26 at 6.28.10 AM

I don’t know about you, but I’m deeply concerned about our upcoming Presidential election.  Neither candidate inspires me!  Both trouble me greatly.

I’d like to start a new organization called NOTA.

HILLARY OR DONALD? DONALD OR HILLARY?

HILLARY OR DONALD?
DONALD OR HILLARY?

This stands for “NONE OF THE ABOVE.”  Even though it would be expensive, if we all voted NOTA, they would have to start the process all over again — and pick better candidates.

I know that we believers are to pray for our leaders.  And both Hillary and Donald drive me to my knees!

 

Your comments?

 

4 Comments

Posted by on August 27, 2016 in presidential election

 

Tags: , , , ,

Psalms of the Salter: Some Thoughts on Really Living for the Lord (Psalm 24)

Psalm 24Screen Shot 2016-07-29 at 6.04.15 AM
Of David. A psalm.

1 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;
2 for he founded it on the seas
and established it on the waters.

3 Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
Who may stand in his holy place?
4 The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not trust in an idol
or swear by a false god.

5 They will receive blessing from the Lord
and vindication from God their Savior.
6Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek your face, God of Jacob.

7 Lift up your heads, you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
8 Who is this King of glory?
The Lord strong and mighty,
the Lord mighty in battle.
9 Lift up your heads, you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory?
The Lord Almighty—
he is the King of glory.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 26, 2016 in Psalm 24

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Image

Time for a Great Quote: Tozer on God’s Pleasure

Screen Shot 2016-08-03 at 6.22.43 AM

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 25, 2016 in pleasing God

 

Tags: , , ,

Psalms of the Salter: Some Thoughts on Really Living for the Lord (Psalm 23)

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.Screen Shot 2016-07-28 at 7.03.40 AM

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 24, 2016 in Psalm 23

 

Tags: , , , ,

Time for a Great Joke: Dieting

An overweight clerk consulted his doctor for advice.

The doctor advised that the clerk to run ten miles Screen Shot 2016-07-30 at 7.07.49 AMa day for thirty days. This, he promised, would burn off as much as twenty pounds.

The clerk followed the doctor’s advice and, after thirty days, was pleased to note a loss of twenty pounds.

 The clerk phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice that produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, there was one last question:

 “How do I get home, since I’m now 300 miles away?”

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 23, 2016 in dieting

 

Tags: , ,

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 532 other followers